The Truth, My Friend
by Moon Rei
Summary: Ichimaru Gin's inside story


Disclaimer : I do not own bleach or make any monetary gain from this story.

To Illigetimi, thank you very much for your reviews. It is very encouraging and inspiring to me. ;-D

I wanted to make a continuation for that story, but I think it's better left as it is – a stand-alone story. However, since I have my own idea for this story to lead (and because Aizen Sosuke is actually a very interesting character), I made some sort of spin-offs from "Tell Me, My Friend, Your Reasons For War". They are from someone else's view. ;-D

I hope you all will like it this first spin-off ! ;-D

**- THE TRUTH, MY FRIEND -**

I had been watching him since he walked through the great ivory door, his face unreadable. Trying to not obviously observe him, I pinned my eyes to a marching clouds on the opposite direction as I eyed him curiously. A thought shot through my mind as I did so; _why do I even bother to mask my action. That guy is the most powerful person around. Nothing escapes him here in Hueco Mundo, the land of wasted souls. _

"Stop watching me, Gin."

It was spoken in low voice but I felt tremor deep in my gut.

"Come on, I wasn't watching you." It was a dumb sentence. _**I**_ felt dumb too.

"Yeah, right.." I felt even dumber.

"I heard someone on the balcony with you. An old friend?"

"So, you _haven't_ been watching me..." I didn't know whether it was a question or a statement or just a passing remark, but his amused thought didn't escape the sound.

"Of course I haven't. You two were quite loud, you know.."

Aizen raised an eyebrow.

"Okay, perhaps I've been a little more attentive to my surrounding than I should have. BUT I wasn't snooping around or what, even if I should be because you're my boss and anything could happen to you if unknown individuals are present here in Hueco Mundo. You know, with a war about to erupt and everybody just went crazy it's hard to keep track on what is happening. So I kinda sit here just as a precaution – no offence to your intellect or power – just – you know – in case." I was out of breath speaking those sentence in one go – smile, smirk and all – but I felt I need to roll it all at once so he wouldn't have the chance to react negatively prior to me explaining anything. This guy is Aizen. No one want to have The Aizen misunderstood him.

But he merely looked at me.

"Go to bed, Gin. It's none of your concern."

So typical of him.

"Okay, then. If you say so. Goodnight."

I watched him walk down the hallway toward his gigantic bedroom. His private sanctuary. There were only a few times I've been around his quarter of the castle. But never his bedroom. I heard it was huge and luxuriously porpotioned. There was even a tall window almost as tall as the bedroom's wall. It was his favourite place in the castle, they said. The window. He liked to sit there for hours doing nothing.

I stared at his retreating back, a kind of sadness crept into a tiny corner in my heart. Often, very often, in the times I spent a step behind him, I would feel a strange emotion running through me. Seeing him as I see him now, I thought I somehow understand why he did what he did. As he disappeared behind the great goldenly framed door, I thought he _felt_ like lost.

Good night, Aizen. Have a better sleep now that the war is coming. Perhaps, you'll find yourself after this, a small voice inside of me said.

The cloud that had marched across the sky was now veiling the pale moon of Hueco Mundo. I could feel the dry white wind breezing past me.

Why would you serve such a cold man? I was often asked. He's as cold as snow can be. Comparable to an iceberg even. To those people, I apparently could do better.

Yes, I threw everything away just to follow this iceberg of a man. I killed many innocents – human and souls alike. I killed hollows even more. I was deep in sin just for this man.

Perhaps when I die, I would be incarnated into the lowliest form of life there is. A worm? An ant? Or perhaps an amoeba. The dark humor of the thought always caught me off-guard. I hope if there is any choice at all for me in the end, I could opt to vanish entirely into oblivion. Never to exist again. To just cease to be, leaving only memories of me behind to fade in time..

I would endure it all gladly and willingly – just as long as she is safe.

Because without her, my existence in these worlds was never important to begin with.

I could still smell the faint rose fragrance she always splash on her, day and night. Though she claimed it's 'a woman's best buddy', I knew it was because she was trying to take the smell of burnt earth and parched trees off her. The smell we had on us as we tried to beat death in that God-forsaken place where we once lived.

The last time we met, I told her I would love to be held by her a little longer but I couldn't. I had meant it – word by word. Just differ in how.

The truth was I wanted to hold her in my arms – and a little while longer. To tell her I was sorry and please don't be worried. To whisper in her ears how much I loved and cared for her. To tell her that it was so much that I was willing to die for her, doing this.

I might not be able to stop Aizen, but by staying close to him, I could keep his madness in check. And if there was such a time when he'd become a threat to Rangiku's life, I'd be in the best position to end his madness – he's only a step away – though I hoped it would not come to that.

The hallway seemed lonelier than it was when I first came here, I noticed as I walked down the hall towards my quarters. As lonelier as my heart grew to be with each passing 'day' in this world of castaways and forgotten existence...


End file.
